Every day at lunch in high school and all my senior year
Id drink my cup of cola with a touch of Everclear
I never had to study math, science, or history
Id have a chemical flash back to jog my memory

My junior year I swore I loved sweet Miss Sherri Ann
One night I put some Everclear in her Dr. Pepper can
Well I thought itd make her easy
She took it pretty hard
I took her home and rang her doorbell left her lying in the yard

Chorus
Tequila dries me out
Beer just makes me fat
Whiskey makes me nauseas
Now tell me who the hell needs that
So if youre thinking about drinking
Well the answers crystal clear
Its the invisible, intoxicating
Its called Everclear

I remember my church picnic
In the spring of 89
Yeah they had four fresh watermelons
Sliced right off the vine
When they bowed their heads giving grace for the food
Hey I pulled out my bottle and I soaked them melons good
Well they never knew what hit em
When that potion went to work
They had grandmas doing back flips
Grandpas looking up their skirts
They were singing hallelujah and Willie Nelson songs
Preacher said it was the best dang picnic
That the Baptists had ever thrown

Chorus
Tequila dries me out
Beer just makes me fat
Whiskey makes me nauseas
Now tell me who the hell needs that
So if youre thinking about drinking
Well the answers crystal clear
Its the invisible, intoxicating
Its called Everclear

When Im drinking Everclear
I think Im king of this whole world
Im bigger and badder than John Wayne
Cooler than Steve Earl
Until I wake up and Im face down in the hall
Hey Im completely naked for a reason I cant recall
Well Im kinda sorta thinking that maybe I met